When I first started my education in this life my teacher called my mum into school and said “We have a problem with your daughter! She finishes all her work within a matter of minutes and then talks for the rest of the class, and distracts all of the other students from completing their work!”

What message did I receive about myself from this situation?
1. It’s not recommended to exceed.
2. It’s not safe to stand out.
3. My gift of communication is not appreciated!

One of my gifts in this life is to teach others through telling stories. However, starting out in life I learnt that this gift wasn’t appreciated. I also learnt that if I stand out too much, I will intimidate others! So I learnt to dim my light and my gifts from an early age.
At primary school I felt very different from the other children, and I wasn’t quite sure how to relate to them. Flicking through my old school reports a few years ago brought tears to my eyes when I read “Rebecca doesn’t have any friends, at break times she stands in the playground on her own!” 😢

As a child I found comfort in the company of animals. I felt I could be myself with them, and they somehow understood me.  As I got older I did make friends, but I noticed that if I allowed my light to shine too brightly, some of these friends would start to feel intimidated by me which would lead to name calling, and eventually some form of betrayal.

I also experienced similar dynamics in my romantic relationships. If I allowed myself to be all that I could be with my partners, they would often fear that I was too attractive to others, and that I may leave them, so they would do their best to diminish my light and my confidence by telling me I was in some way ‘not good enough’.  What did I learn from this? If I want to maintain my friendships and relationships, then I need to diminish myself to prevent them from feeling uncomfortable or betraying me or leaving.

What I’ve realised recently is that throughout my life I’ve used my relationships as a way to maintain the smallness of me. To keep me from being all that I can be, so that I don’t make anybody uncomfortable and I don’t shine too brightly.  I’ve called in friends and partners (not all of them I must add) who have expressed to me that my power makes them uncomfortable, and taught me that I must limit myself if I want to exist in this world! I’ve reached a point now where I’m very bored of this story!!

This week I have been reading ‘Divorceless Relationships’ by Dain Heer and Gary Douglas, and they talk about all the ways we divorce parts of ourselves in order to maintain our relationships. I can definitely see that I have done this throughout my life and I am ready to stop doing that now!

A question from the book that I am now asking myself is …
“What kind of person would I attract if I was willing to have a life much greater than I am currently living, and that by having that would necessitate being greater than I’ve ever been before? Anything that doesn’t allow that I now destroy and uncreate!”
Another good tool from ‘Access Consciousness’ is to “Destroy and uncreate your relationship with your partner, friends and family” everyday so that these relationships can continue to expand (or leave if that is what is required) as you do!

🌟Are you limiting yourself to maintain your current relationships?
🌟Are you ready to stop doing that now?
🌟Who would you truly be if you weren’t worried about making anybody else uncomfortable?
🌟What else is possible and how does it get any better than this?! Thank you Universe. 🙏
💫 It’s Time to Shine!! 💫